It's a hard task-working with all women. There are some special ladies that can bring us together and others that can tear us apart. Unfortunately, those special women don't work here anymore and our department is crumbling.
Today I'm feeling empowered because I stopped taking crap. There comes a time when you reach your breaking point. I was unprofessionally (and a bit middle school-y) accused of being a person I am not. And I stood up to her and I most likely made a new enemy. And I'm okay with that because I'm on top of the world. It feels great. I have the confidence I thought I'd lost. I didn't go shrivel up in a ball at my desk, which is my first instinct. After all, I hate to offend. But, why is it okay to let ourselves be offended? It's not and we should take a stand. We need to take a cue from men. We need to stand our ground and realize we're worth standing up for and then shake hands and all is well. Men can argue and share their opinion and go back to being friends again.
You should try it. So come on ladies, put someone in their place that deserves it. There's no greater feeling than standing up for yourself and defending your own honor. It's likely no one else will do it but you.
*Steps off soap box*
I'd love to hear from you guys on this topic. What gives you confidence?
When's the last time you stood up for yourself?
You go girl! I put people in their place when I'm alone at home -- in other words, after the fact I think of the right things to have said, but I never seem to say them.
ReplyDeleteI do too! I can never think quickly enough. But, I'd heard she was coming over so I was ready!
DeleteSUCH A GREAT POST! Thanks for the encouragement....I'm always careful not to offend anyone, but hardly ever stand up to anyone even if I'm hurt. This is so great!
ReplyDeleteAw thanks Stephanie! :-) Yeah, I'm exactly the same way. I hope next time you can stand up for yourself. It's really a great confidence booster.
DeleteHurray for stepping up for yourself and your friend! I'm not so good at standing up for myself either, most of the time I let things go, if it doesn't bother me as much but sometimes I have to say something otherwise it will just gnaw on me constantly.
ReplyDeleteIt does seems most of us are like that. I will definitely stew on something for a day or two. Especially if I know what I should have said. That is frustrating!
DeleteI am very anti-conflict but when it comes to cases like this, no one should let people walk all over them! Good for you! If they're going to start crap then the repercussions of it are totally THEIR fault. I thought that with age people would change, and some of us have but not everyone.
ReplyDeleteGirls are so catty and competitive. The jealousy can often override people's judgement but as long as you feel comfortable with yourself other people's success shouldn't bother you. This person must not feel very comfortable with herself to put down others around them, especially people she will have to see in the work place! How unprofessional.
I HATE conflict. But, now if they start it I'm game!
DeleteWell, we have editors and art directors in my department and I would say that the editors do not respect us. It's very unprofessional!
Good for you! Some people need to be put in their place and called out. I totally know what you mean about working with women. I was an elem. teacher for 3 years so I had my fair share of female work-related drama. Blah.
ReplyDeleteThanks! And I thought elementary teachers would be so nice. :-)
DeleteWay to go Michelle! I think for so many of us it is so hard to take a stand, for ourselves, for anyone. I'm getting better at it. Having a kid has certainly helped. It's as if there's a silent voice always there saying, "Callum needs to see you *do* this." I made a promise to him a few weeks back that if a neighbor of ours (who we love) ever mentioned a certain talk-radio personality (ahem) in my presence again, I was at a point where I'd have to say something. (Like "Please don't ever mention that person's name in my presence again.) When our neighbor brought this person up, I could have SO easily ignored it, but my voice said, "You promised Cal." So I said something. I was polite and he was great (he really is.).
ReplyDeleteSO bully for you! That confidence you feel will continue to shine through, and maybe you will be the thing that keeps your department from crumbling further! xo
Thanks Lauren! I bet having a kid helps. Especially because you have a person you'll defend to the ends of the earth. And good for you too!
DeleteWell, it would be nice to help my department, but I'd like to quit my job before it disintegrates!
Well, I certainly know that feeling too. Toxic places aren't worth saving. The one I got out of felt so good to shed. Keep your chin up, girl, and congrats again on your good ETSY news!
DeleteThanks Lauren! I'm literally counting down the days. :-)
DeleteGood. For. You! I don't stand up for myself nearly enough. You know, scared of offending or not being liked and hating conflict or confrontation. It's all nonsense. So happy to hear you stood up for yourself and are not feeling guilty about it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't have a problem speaking up when it comes to advocating for a child (i.e., bullying)...My own and others. There is something truly heartbreaking about witnessing bullying in all its many forms.
I know it, and isn't it silly we're afraid of offending someone or not being liked by someone who's already mean to us?
DeleteOh yeah, I know way too much about bullying from my childhood, lol! I'm fairly interested in seeing that new movie on bullying. It's such a terrible and all too common thing.
I'm so proud of you. People treat us the way we allow them to. Not all people thankfully, but there will always be insecure people who to cover their weaknesses will try to instill their power over you in any way possible. I find just speaking up in a calm rational manner is the best option. "NO" is a complete sentence!
ReplyDeleteExactly! Thank you! I agree, calm is best. Getting all yelly won't solve anything.
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